Desiring What Are The Ghosts Within

Most of us think of a ghost as something that only exists after we die. We imagine it to be a piece of us that continues to hang around and haunt the places we lived while alive. What if there are ghosts of yourself that are around while you are alive? What if what you think you are is actually a ghost?

As we usually think of them, ghosts are insubstantial forms that come and go. They are not quite solid or real, and most people can’t see them. And yet how substantial or real are our images of ourselves—our ideas about who we are? If you have an image of yourself as an attractive person one day and as an unattractive person the next day, how real was either image? And can other people see your self image? What does it mean if you have a self image of being unattractive and someone acts attracted to you anyway? Maybe they can’t see your self image. Maybe your self image is a kind of ghost.

We are not always willing to see that our idea of ourselves is a kind of ghost because we really believe that is what we are. We may wonder, Who am I if what I think I am is something insubstantial and not real? What is here besides the ghosts of my self images? There is a strong sense that we do exist, that we are real. But does this sense of existence and reality come from our image of ourselves? Or does the sense of being real and of existing come from somewhere deeper within our being? It’s difficult to know for sure since the image and the sense of realness can both be present at the same time, and our egoic idea of ourselves can co-opt that deeper sense of realness we naturally have.

One way to distinguish what is real from what is not is to ask yourself how real your ideas of yourself are. One measure of how real something is how long it lasts. The more real something is, the longer it lasts. How long do ideas about yourself last? They come and go (like a ghost in a ghost story) and don’t last very long at all. A thought is often over so quickly that we can’t remember a moment later what we were just thinking. Our images of ourselves are constantly changing and fading away to be replaced by another thought about ourselves or a thought about something else altogether. So those images or identifications must not be very real. They may just be ghosts in our minds.

What about the pure sense that you exist right now? Does that come and go? How often do you have the opposite sense—that you don’t exist at all? The sense that you exist is more real than your ideas about yourself because it doesn’t come and go. You exist, but your ideas about yourself are just ghosts. What you are is not contained in your ideas or identifications. What you really are is still here even when your ideas about yourself fade away, like ghostly images in a movie.

It is the real you that matters. You can become more curious about this real you than you are about the false ghosts of identity. What is the real you made of? What is it like? What does it want? What can it do? These are rich and meaningful questions to explore, but remember that the real answers are not to be found in your ideas about yourself. The truest answers can be found in the simple sense that you exist.